Man Starts Fire for Love

February 8, 2011

in Holidays,Valentine's Day

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Man pops question, woman says yes, ring goes on finger. It’s the oldest Valentine’s Day script in the book. It’s been done a million times – and there are only so many ways to do it, right? A ring is found in a glass of wine, or a proposal is written across a score board. Sweet. Romantic. Memorable. But cliché.

But then you have the bizarre few that ditch the romance and go for the wacky. After all, what’s more memorable than the absurd?

Here’s a story of a guy who was guilty of “stealing” his lover’s heart and “breaking into” her soul. So he made friends with an officer and staged his own arrest. He used his one call to phone his sweetheart and tell her there’d been some sort of mistake, and she needed to come down to the station to bail him out. When she got there, she found him cuffed and confused. Then he surprised her by telling her he’d been found guilty of robbery and was now expecting a life sentence. “Baby, I robbed your heart, broke into your soul, and now I’m hoping for a life sentence by your side. Will you marry me?”

Or check out the avid gamer who invited his girlfriend to play a game of Halo with him. Half way through the game, his character led the way into a private area, where he’d used his virtual weapons to spell out “Marry me?” Pretty clever, and easy to do. It just took a little thought and preparation beforehand – and a girl that was as into gaming as he was.

Another guy staged a burial for Rover, the family dog that was 15, balding, and blind in one eye. He called up his girl and told her the old fur ball finally kicked the bucket, and could she please come hold his hand while he said his last goodbyes. While he was digging the grave, he feigned surprise when he hit something hidden in the dirt – a small wooden box with a picture of the two of them on the outside. He opened it up and exposed the contents – small souvenirs from their time together, and a sweet diamond ring that made up for the lie.

And then there’s the guy whose girl was just too hot to handle. He lit himself on fire to make the point. He enlisted the help of his trained, stunt-devil buddy to make sure the story didn’t have a tragic ending. He covered up in some protective gear, then lit himself on fire before jumping into the pool. Then, dripping wet and totally unharmed, he went to his girlfriend’s side and told her she made him hot, and asked her to make him hot forever.

One thing all of these stories have in common is that they’ll definitely be worth telling during the couple’s next 50 years together. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter if it’s sappy or slapstick – the proposal is just a means to an end. What matters is the promise being made and the happily ever after.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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